Image Credit - Women of Influence
Burnout to Balance The Soft Life Way
The "Soft Life": Prioritizing Ease and Wellbeing
For decades, the path to a good life seemed clear: work hard, advance your career, and enjoy the fruits of your labour. Yet, for many millennials and Gen Z, this formula no longer rings true. Faced with stagnant wages, rising living costs, and repeated economic downturns, they're turning away from the relentless pursuit of conventional success. Instead, they're embracing a philosophy known as the "soft life."
Rejecting the Culture of Hustle
At its core, the soft life prioritizes personal well-being, comfort, and genuine fulfilment over ambition for ambition's sake. It represents a conscious rejection of the "hustle culture" that glorifies burnout. Rose Gardner, a woman who previously excelled in the corporate world, exemplifies this shift. Despite ticking all the boxes of traditional success, she felt unfulfilled. "I realized I was sacrificing my happiness to maintain a lifestyle I didn't truly value," she admits. With a bold move, she left her demanding job, simplified, and rediscovered joy in everyday moments.
A Response to Economic Reality
Gabrielle Judge, an online personality known for her "Anti Work Girlboss" stance, sees the rise of the soft life as a logical consequence of the challenges millennials and Gen Z face. "We've witnessed how hard work doesn't always translate into financial security or a better life," she says. "This realization is causing many young adults to rethink how they approach work and life."
This paradigm shift challenges the outdated "girlboss" mentality, which encouraged women to push themselves to the limit in traditionally male-dominated fields. Abadesi Osunsade, CEO of Hustle Crew, identifies a change in mindset: "Productivity shouldn't define our worth. The soft life is about honouring our need for rest and self-care."
Beyond Burnout: The "Lazy Girl Job"
Judge's concept of the "lazy girl job" has become a symbol of this movement. Originally coined in 2023, it refers to roles that offer low stress, flexibility, and sufficient pay for life's essentials. These jobs aren't about prestige or ambition; they're about earning a living without compromising one's physical and emotional well-being.
A Sanctuary for Marginalized Groups
Interestingly, the soft life holds particular significance for marginalized communities, especially Black women. Osunsade highlights how the soft life allows women to reclaim their time and energy in a world that systematically undervalues them. It encourages Black women to step away from pressures to overachieve and instead focus on nurturing themselves.
Redefining "Success"
The soft life isn't about laziness or abandoning ambition altogether. Instead, it encourages a re-evaluation of what success looks like. For some, this may mean leaving a toxic work environment, while for others, it might involve embracing flexible working arrangements or setting stricter boundaries in the workplace. The focus shifts from external validation to a sense of internal harmony and peace.
The Criticism and Its Origins
Naturally, this approach has its critics. Older generations sometimes perceive it as a sign of laziness or lack of ambition. Figures like Kim Kardashian have famously advocated for relentless work ethic, sparking backlash for their disconnect from the economic struggles of many younger people. The generational divide fuels the debate, with baby boomers raised in a different economic climate often unable to fully understand the challenges facing millennials and Gen Z.
Embracing Mediocrity (Sometimes)
Abadesi Osunsade acknowledges the pressure, particularly on women, to excel in all areas of life. The soft life offers an alternative: "We simply can't be superstars in every aspect. It's okay to set realistic expectations and be content with 'good enough' in some areas to truly shine in the ones that matter most."
This perspective aligns with recent workplace trends like "quiet quitting" – the practice of fulfilling the bare minimum of job requirements – and "bare minimum Mondays." It emphasizes setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care over constant overextension.
Practical Steps Toward a Softer Life
Osunsade advocates for taking an honest inventory of priorities. What are your absolute 'non-negotiables'? Perhaps spending quality time with family, pursuing a hobby, or dedicating time to wellness activities. The soft life approach treats these priorities with the same reverence as urgent work deadlines, scheduling them as sacred and unmovable commitments.
The Power of "Softness"
Rose Gardner, now living her version of the soft life, is a testament to its transformative potential. By pursuing creative passions and surrounding herself with loved ones, she has replaced dissatisfaction with deep contentment. "The world often views softness as a weakness," she says. "But for me, embracing this gentleness was the greatest act of strength."
The Soft Life: A Global Phenomenon?
While the term "soft life" might seem like a recent internet trend, similar philosophies prioritizing well-being and balanced living exist across cultures. The Danish concept of "hygge" – which centres around cosiness, connection, and simple pleasures – shares many similarities and predates the online "soft life" movement. Moreover, cultures in the Mediterranean and Latin America have long valued a slower pace of life, with extended family time and leisurely meals being central to their way of life.
The Influence of Social Media
The rise of social media has undoubtedly amplified the visibility of the soft life movement, particularly among younger generations. Platforms like TikTok and Instagram offer creators a space to share curated visuals of aesthetically pleasing routines, self-care practices, and moments of mindful relaxation. While these portrayals sometimes face criticism for being overly idealized, they also provide inspiration and a sense of community for those seeking a gentler approach to life.
The Soft Life in a Capitalist System
However, there's an inherent tension between the soft life philosophy and the demands of late-stage capitalism. While the desire for less stress and more free time is universal, the reality is that financial stability is essential for most people. The ability to downsize one's lifestyle, take time off, or pursue less lucrative but more personally fulfilling work depends heavily on economic privilege.
Seeking Balance
Finding soft life moments within the constraints of a demanding job and limited finances is possible for some. Prioritizing even short breaks, carving out time for hobbies, or saying "no" to unnecessary commitments can inject pockets of softness into an otherwise hectic existence. Osunsade recognizes this: "The soft life is a spectrum. It's about adjusting our mindset and seeking micro-moments of ease even if our circumstances don't allow for a complete overhaul."
Dangers of Comparison
It's crucial to remember that the soft life shouldn't become another source of pressure. Social media often showcases its most glamorous and aspirational aspects. The endless stream of picture-perfect moments can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and make people question the validity of their own lived experiences. It's essential to use social media depictions as inspiration rather than a rigid benchmark for what a soft life "should" look like.
A Journey, Not a Destination
Ultimately, the soft life is a journey of self-discovery. It's about identifying what truly nourishes you and shedding the weight of external expectations. Whether that involves major lifestyle changes or small shifts in attitude, the soft life invites us to prioritize joy, peace, and self-compassion in a world that often demands relentless striving.
Potential Benefits: Improved Health and Wellbeing
One of the most appealing aspects of the soft life philosophy is the potential for improved mental and physical health. Chronic stress has a wide range of adverse effects, from anxiety and depression to weakened immunity and increased risk of heart disease. By prioritizing relaxation, self-care, and boundaries, the soft life aims to mitigate these risks.
While large-scale studies specifically focused on the "soft life" are still lacking, decades of research support the link between lowered stress levels and improved overall wellbeing. Additionally, prioritizing activities that bring joy and fulfilment can boost mood, increase self-esteem, and provide a sense of purpose.
The Importance of Community
While the soft life emphasizes individual needs and desires, it doesn't mean disconnecting from others. In fact, strong relationships and a sense of community are crucial to well-being. The soft life encourages nurturing those connections, whether that's spending quality time with loved ones, finding online communities of like-minded individuals, or engaging in activities that build genuine bonds.
Gabrielle Judge, with her "Anti Work Girlboss" platform, has fostered an online space for people to share their experiences of burnout and explore alternative ways of working and living. Such communities offer support, validation, and a sense of belonging, making the journey towards a softer life feel less isolating.
A Trend or a Tectonic Shift?
Only time will tell whether the soft life is a fleeting fad or a sign of a more significant societal shift. The growing awareness of mental health issues, coupled with widespread economic uncertainty, suggests a lasting focus on finding greater balance and well-being in people's approach to work and life.
For some, the soft life may indeed prompt major changes – switching to less demanding careers, downscaling homes, or relocating to lower-cost areas. However, for many, it could manifest in subtler ways: setting firmer boundaries with colleagues, prioritizing regular self-care practices, or simply learning to say "no" more often.
Empowerment Through Choice
At its heart, the soft life is about empowerment. It encourages us to question the relentless pursuit of external markers of success and to chart a course that resonates with our own values and priorities. While the path may look different for everyone, the act of consciously choosing a life that embraces ease and wellbeing is a powerful expression of personal autonomy.
Image Credit - The House of Wellness
The Soft Life: A Path Worth Exploring?
The allure of the soft life is undeniable. In a world that feels increasingly chaotic and demanding, the promise of greater ease, comfort, and self-prioritization holds immense appeal. Yet, it's essential to approach the soft life movement with a critical eye and realistic expectations.
It's important to acknowledge that the soft life isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. Life circumstances, responsibilities, and personal goals vary widely. For individuals with significant caregiving duties or heavy financial burdens, adopting a fully soft life philosophy might be challenging, if not impossible. It's also crucial to recognize the role of privilege when it comes to opting for a less traditional path, particularly in navigating career transitions or financial downscaling.
The Soft Life as Inspiration
Instead of striving for an unattainable ideal, viewing the soft life as a source of inspiration might be more beneficial. Can you carve out pockets of "softness" in your existing life? It might involve saying "no" to extra commitments outside of work, setting aside designated time for a relaxing hobby, or establishing a calming bedtime routine. Even small changes aligned with the soft life philosophy can potentially have a significant impact on your overall wellbeing.
Balance and Personal Responsibility
Ultimately, the most sustainable path lies in finding balance. It's perfectly possible to value hard work and ambition while also recognizing the importance of rest, self-care, and pursuing passions outside your career. The soft life serves as a valuable reminder that our worth isn't solely determined by our productivity.
Importantly, the soft life shouldn't absolve us of personal responsibility. While challenging systemic inequalities is crucial, we must also acknowledge the choices within our control. Investing in education, honing skills, and proactively managing finances are still valuable tools for creating a foundation that allows for greater flexibility and choice in the long run.
Conclusion
The soft life movement has sparked an essential conversation about our relationship with work, ambition, and well-being. Whether it leads to major lifestyle changes or simply inspires greater self-awareness, its core message resonates deeply. In a world that often demands we sacrifice our peace for external validation, the soft life reminds us of the transformative power of gentleness, self-compassion, and choosing a life that feels balanced, joyful, and aligned with our deepest values.
