Dr Brenner: A Psychologist Story

The Centenarian's Couch: A Psychologist Listens as Her Own Memory Fades

At appointed times during the week, Dr Marcia Brenner’s telephone rings. A psychologist who has reached a century of life picks up, ready for another session. She holds a cordless handset firmly against her ear, compensating for a growing hearing impairment. Her eyesight has also diminished, making her personal documentation unreadable. For a duration of forty-five minutes, she will immerse herself in the lives of her clients. She concentrates intently on their pains and puzzles. These individuals have grown reliant on her unique counsel, a relationship built over many years. This ritual of connection continues, a testament to a career spanning more than six decades.

A New, Unsettling Challenge

Following the Covid-19 health crisis which moved all her sessions to a remote format, Dr Brenner noticed a disturbing new pattern. She found herself inquiring about aspects of her clients’ histories that she previously remembered with ease. This slow erosion of her memory is perhaps the most distressing challenge in her remarkably long existence. The psychologist confronts this daily frustration with practiced composure. She stated her only option is to request that her clients refresh her memory by reiterating information. She does her best, she said, to conceal her own distress.

The Weight of Legacy

Retirement feels like an act of abandonment to Dr Brenner. Evan Brenner, who is her son, connects this profound sense of duty to their family's heritage. He explained it as a hospitality custom from Eastern Europe, rooted in their history from the Minsk area of modern-day Belarus. This cultural imperative dictates that one never turns away someone who is visiting or someone who needs assistance. It is a principle that has guided his mother's professional life. The thought of stopping work and disappointing her clients holds her back.

Unwavering Patient Loyalty

Dr Brenner's dedication is met with equal loyalty from her clients. A home healthcare assistant who manages scheduling and invoices for Dr Brenner recalls a telling incident. While Dr Brenner was in a medical facility recovering from a fractured hip, her patients called frequently. They were not just wishing her well; they wanted to know the date of her return to her practice. Their reliance on her is a powerful motivator. For this reason, she carries on with her regular therapeutic work, navigating the demands of her work despite her personal challenges.

Entering the 'Work Mode'

She admits that continuing her practice requires significant effort. Yet, something remarkable happens when a session begins. Dr Brenner explained that she can automatically enter a professional mindset. This transformation allows her to access a familiar professional identity. She feels that when she is deep within a session, she is able to feel like her former self. It is in these focused moments of connection and analysis that the fog of her current struggles seems to lift, revealing the sharp, insightful therapist she has always been.

A Century Marked in Style

Around the Passover holiday this April, shortly before celebrating her one-hundredth birthday, relatives moved about as she rested on a couch inside her sizable, price-regulated flat on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Her home, a rare prize in New York's property market, has been a constant for decades. She sported a leopard-patterned shirt and eyeliner, and her fingernails were polished a delicate coral color. The small matriarch was flanked by her grandchildren, who were sitting close to her. The scene was one of lively affection, a testament to the family's deep bonds.

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A Tapestry of Shared Stories

The family conversation turned to memories, a collective effort to piece together the past. They prompted her to recount the tale of King, a clever canine who would independently take the lift by himself from the building's fourteenth floor to go for walks. Family members assisted in recalling the details. They recalled the time King was feared lost, only to be located asking for food from the local butcher. This collaborative storytelling has become a new family dynamic, a way to navigate and honour a life rich with anecdotes.

The Enduring Gift of Psychotherapy

Her son, Daniel Brenner, a fellow psychiatrist, then got ready to share another story about a parrot named Harriet. He cautioned that the story was extensive. "I have time," his mother replied, her wit still sharp. Daniel remains convinced of his mother's continuing therapeutic gifts. He observes that she becomes animated while she listens. He believes that effective psychotherapy focuses on being present with what is unfolding at the moment, rather than dwelling on the previous week's events. In this, he feels his mother still excels, offering exceptionally sensible guidance.

The Enigma of a Fading Mind

Daniel has, however, observed a noticeable decline in his mother's memory during the last couple of years. He suspects it is not Alzheimer's disease. He points to her sharp consciousness of the problem as a key differentiator. Normal age-related memory loss does not typically disable a person's daily functioning, whereas dementia involves a more severe and persistent decline. The family finds it a puzzle why she can easily bring back frivolous Yiddish tunes, while more profound, intimate recollections appeared to slip away. This selective access to memory is a source of constant puzzlement.

A Life's Worth of Memories

Her memories of a difficult first marriage, for example, have become fragmented. She recalls a powerful desire for a legal separation while she resided in Israel but struggles with the timeline. She wondered if that was seventy-five years prior. She also questioned why she was even in Israel. These gaps in her personal narrative are a poignant reminder of what is being lost. Each day presents a new configuration of what she can and cannot remember from her century of life.

A Brooklyn-Born Wit

She recounted how acquaintances feigned delight upon hearing about her centennial birthday. She offered mocking impressions of their reactions. A Brooklyn native, she punctuated the observation with a well-chosen swear word, a flash of her enduring, no-nonsense personality. This dark humour is a coping mechanism and a reflection of a life spent observing human nature. She finds little to celebrate in the simple fact of reaching an advanced age, focusing instead on the quality of her existence.

The Unchanging Human Condition

The people Dr Brenner treats are many years younger. They persist in recommending potential clients, though she now declines any new referrals. During her most active professional period, she maintained a forty-hour workweek. She notes that the fundamental dilemmas people face have remained remarkably consistent through the decades. The core issues of depression, feelings of isolation, and difficulties in relationships are timeless. She has listened to these same struggles for over 60 years, offering guidance through changing social and cultural landscapes.

An Unshakeable Commitment

In her sixty-two years of professional activity, she has outlasted numerous people she has treated but could not remember ever dismissing a client. She also consistently offered a sliding-scale payment arrangement for people who lacked insurance coverage. This commitment to accessibility is a core part of her professional ethic. It speaks to a deep-seated belief in the importance of mental healthcare for all, regardless of their financial situation. Her practice was built on a foundation of empathy and accommodation, qualities that have endeared her to generations of patients.

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From Punk Rock to Public Health

One person she previously treated, 56-year-old Candice Belanoff, remarked that she probably still has an outstanding balance with her. Her counseling sessions, which took place between 1998 and 2004, commenced while she was transitioning away from her career as an electric bass player for a moderately successful punk-pop group named Walt Mink. The group, formed in 1989 at Macalester College, had toured with notable acts like The Lemonheads and Mudhoney. Prepared for a new direction but with minimal income, Belanoff credits Dr Brenner with offering the necessary push.

The Lasting Impact of a Therapist

Dr Brenner nudged her toward graduate school, a stable marriage, and motherhood. Following this guidance, Professor Belanoff earned her doctorate through Harvard University and holds a position as a clinical associate professor of public health with Boston University. Her work focuses on maternal and child health, social inequities, and structural racism. Belanoff remarked that she is aware that Marcia assisted many artists and musicians who were facing challenges and that the psychologist holds the memories of all their troubles, habits, and minor faults.

The Longevity Formula

Healthy practices have undoubtedly contributed to Dr Brenner's longevity, including consistent physical activity, meals made at home, and a diverse nutritional intake. She also consumed little alcohol and cultivated a wide circle of companions. Taking vitamin supplements was also a major part of her routine, with approximately twenty each day, until physicians recommended she lower her dosage. Dr Brenner mused about this drive to extend one's life, stating that attaining the age of 100 had never been one of her goals.

The Pain of Awareness

The erosion of memories, however, is an issue entirely outside of her influence. The daily intensification of her memory deficit is not pleasant, she noted, particularly when one is conscious of what is gone. She added that she is constantly conscious of this decline. This awareness brings a daily existential challenge. She stated with stark honesty that consequently, every morning you awaken with the thought of what purpose it all serves.

A Partnership of Minds

Marlin Brenner, her husband, who goes by Buzz and is only 96, is still with her. He, too, works as a psychologist, now with just a single client. They became acquainted as students at Columbia University's Teachers College, a place where they both completed their doctoral programs. The college was a hub for emerging fields in psychology during that era. They wed in 1963. The white-painted surfaces of their residence are covered with Buzz's colorful abstract paintings, a testament to his artistic pursuits alongside his clinical work.

The Therapist Within

In 2021, when he was 90, Buzz released a book he titled "The Therapist Within". Drawing on five decades of clinical work, the book introduces his method of "Reflective Psychotherapy". It guides readers in the practice of self-examination through self-reflection, meditation, and journal writing. The book is a culmination of a lifetime spent helping others and reflects a deep intellectual partnership between him and his wife, both dedicated to the exploration of the human mind.

Silenced Music

In a corner of their main room, a Steinway baby grand piano sits. Dr Brenner is now unable to perform on it. Macular degeneration now keeps her from seeing the musical notation. The instrument, she mentioned, was a gift from her mother; she had insisted on practice during her childhood, which she spent in Brooklyn's Brownsville section. In the 1920s and 30s, Brownsville was a densely populated neighbourhood of working-class Jewish immigrants, a "Little Jerusalem". The silent piano is a powerful symbol of the losses that accumulate with age.

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A Century of History

Her mother and father were first-generation immigrants who had escaped antisemitic persecution in Russia. Marcia Schwartzburg came into the world in 1925. In that year, Calvin Coolidge was president, The New Yorker magazine had just been founded, and publications included “Mrs. Dalloway,” “The Great Gatsby,” and the initial volume of “Mein Kampf.” Her birth coincided with a moment of significant cultural and political change, setting the stage for a life that would span a tumultuous century of world history.

A Youth Forged in Conflict

Following the second World War, after completing her undergraduate program at Brooklyn College, she made a move to Jerusalem. Her mother’s unpublished personal account indicates it was considered a positive move to have Masha, as she was known then, attend graduate studies there. The first Arab-Israeli conflict subsequently began in 1948. Her parents pleaded with her to return home. She did not comply. She was determined to remain in the nascent state during its formative, violent struggle for existence.

Service in the Haganah

Ori Schwartzburg, her nephew, prompted her with a memory, saying he recalled she had evaded explosions and gunfire and had helped rescue a group of youths caught in the crossfire. His aunt showed interest, and it seemed like she was hearing the account for the very first time. He went on, saying she had shared a story with him about her work with codes and ciphers. This sparked a flicker of recognition. She confirmed her involvement with the intelligence branch of the Haganah. The Haganah was the primary Jewish paramilitary organisation and precursor to the Israel Defence Forces. She noted she never carried a firearm or wore official attire.

Faded Details of a Covert Past

Dr Brenner was unable to remember the specific circumstances that led to her joining a branch of the future Israel Defence Forces. She speculated a connection to her ownership of a Hallicrafter radio. The Shai, the Haganah's intelligence arm, was active in recruiting operatives and infiltrating British mandate offices at the time. While in Israel, she wed a man she knew from work who was active as a playwright and also in politics. She recalled with clarity that he was a very significant figure and that she had a strong desire to be his wife.

A Quiet Centre of Gravity

With equal vehemence, Dr Brenner added that she also had a strong desire to end the marriage. It was not certain if Buzz was able to overhear this sharp pronouncement from across the room. Engulfed by her talkative and happy family, Dr Brenner appeared to have a subtle yet powerful presence. Her presence anchored the bustling energy of the apartment. She had commented earlier that aging, at a certain stage, brings more loss than it does the acquisition of insight. She reflected that at that junction in one's life, a person would begin to consider not wishing for an overly extended existence.

Accepting the Inevitable

This revelation did not seem to trouble her. She stated that she has come to terms with change, adding that she has no alternative. Her acceptance is not one of passive resignation but of clear-eyed realism. Daniel, her son, began singing a dark nursery rhyme learned from his mother. She participated with enthusiasm, recalling each word precisely:

Last night our little baby died

It died committing suicide

Some say it was meningitis

But we know it died just to spite us

It was a lousy baby anyhow

It cost us forty dollars.

The Last Laugh

Relatives burst into laughter and encouraged her to tell some favorite Yiddish jokes, but her mind was blank. She had grown weary. The final scene was a perfect encapsulation of her life at 100: a mind where some memories are lost while others remain vividly intact, a spirit still capable of shocking and delighting, and a family that surrounds her with love, laughter, and the shared, complicated tapestry of their collective past.