Private Language Creates Special Bonds

The Language of Two: Inside the Private World of Twin Speak

A significant number of twins, potentially up to half, craft a unique way of communicating with each other. While this private language often fades with time, for brothers Matthew and Michael Youlden, it evolved into an everyday aspect of their profound connection. The siblings have mastered a remarkable 25 languages apiece. Their 26th, which they named Umeri, remains unlisted in their official count. There is a clear reason for Umeri’s obscurity. The only people who can speak, read, and write it are Michael and Matthew, who invented the language themselves as young children.

The brothers emphasise that Umeri was never designed as a tool for secrecy. They clarified via email that their special language is not employed to keep matters private. Instead, it possesses a deep sentimental significance, reflecting the powerful bond they have as identical twins. This special form of communication is a recognised phenomenon. Estimates suggest that between 30 and 50 percent of twins create a shared linguistic system only they can understand. This occurrence is technically identified as cryptophasia, a term derived from Greek that translates to "secret speech".

Understanding Cryptophasia

Dr Nancy Segal, a leading expert in twin studies, suggests more nuanced terms like "private speech" are now preferred. She also uses the phrase "shared verbal understanding" to describe the speech used between a pair. Her research indicates that approximately four in ten toddlers who are twins exhibit a version of this unique communication. However, Segal notes this statistic does not fully capture the intricate nature of how language evolves in twins. These private languages are often a mix of existing words, neologisms, and onomatopoeic sounds, structured with a simplified grammar that deviates from their parents' native tongue. This can sometimes lead to a temporary lag in conventional language acquisition.

Roy Johannink, a father from Holland, captured a striking example of this phenomenon. A video he took over a decade ago shows his infant twins, Merle and Stijn, engaged in an animated babbling conversation. The footage, which has since garnered tens of millions of views, documents the moment they first appeared to interact verbally. Johannink recalls his surprise, sensing they had a realisation they were not alone and a feeling of them against the world. Like most twins, the private speech of Merle and Stijn disappeared as they learned Dutch.

A Language That Grew

The Youlden brothers, however, did not follow this common pattern. Instead of outgrowing Umeri, they actively cultivated and refined it as time went on. Raised in the multicultural environment of Manchester, their surroundings fostered a deep love for languages. The exact origins of Umeri are indistinct, yet the siblings recall their grandfather's confusion when, as young children, they would share private jokes he could not decipher. Their passion for linguistics truly ignited during a family holiday to Spain when they were eight. Convinced they needed Spanish for requesting ice cream, they armed themselves using a dictionary and began translating phrases.

This initial foray into learning a language was soon followed by Italian and then a collection of Scandinavian tongues. As they studied the grammatical structures of these diverse languages, they recognised the potential for Umeri to become a fully realised language in its own right. This observation aligns with research suggesting that children are not just passive learners but can actively create linguistic systems. The brothers started to codify Umeri, even attempting to design a unique alphabet before the practical limitations of digital fonts led them to adopt the Latin script.

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More Than Secret Speech

Specialists in the field of child development view this phenomenon through the lens of close relationships. Professor Karen Thorpe, a researcher at the University of Queensland's Queensland Brain Institute, has extensively researched language in twins and sees it as a beautiful human trait. She views it not as something peculiar, but as a wonderful capacity humans possess when they share an exceptionally close bond. Thorpe suggests this is not specific to twins but applies to any profoundly intimate connection. She also frames it as a typical part of development, noting that toddlers beginning to talk often comprehend one another better than adults do.

For the Youldens, their language is a blend of this unique closeness and a shared intellectual curiosity. Thorpe acknowledges that the conscious, long-term cultivation of a personal language like Umeri is quite uncommon. Most private languages consist of words from the adult language, adapted to the limited phonological abilities of young children, which can make them unintelligible to outsiders. The Youlden case stands out because they intentionally expanded and structured their childhood communication into a complex system.

Identity and the Twin Bond

The experience of being a twin is psychologically complex, often involving a unique struggle for individual identity. The intense bond can sometimes make it difficult for twins to develop a sense of self separate from their sibling. This dynamic is often idealised by outsiders, who may not grasp the challenges involved. The creation of a personal language can be seen as an extension of this powerful connection, a shared world accessible only to the two of them. For some, this exclusive bond can feel isolating.

Matthew Youlden notes a tendency for twins to feel a sense of shame about their private language and stop using it as they grow older. He likens this to the shyness some people feel when using a minority language in a society dominated by another tongue. Individuals may fear being ostracised or viewed strangely for using a tongue unfamiliar to the wider community. Thankfully, the Youldens never faced such negative reactions; their family viewed the emergence of Umeri as a positive and natural part of their bond.

The Darker Side of Twinship

While the Youlden story is one of positive connection, the history of cryptophasia includes more troubling examples. The case of Jennifer and June Gibbons, Welsh twins born to Barbadian parents in the 1970s, is perhaps the most famous. As the only Black children in their community, they faced intense bullying and ostracism. In response, they withdrew entirely, refusing to speak to anyone but each other in a rapid, idiosyncratic form of English that was unintelligible to outsiders.

Their profound isolation and shared language became a prison. Following a period of petty crime and arson, they were sent to Broadmoor, a high-security psychiatric hospital, at just 19 years old. They remained there for over a decade. June later described their state as being ensnared by their twinship and confined by their language, revealing a desperate struggle for individual identity. Their story illustrates the potential for an intensely close twin relationship, combined with social isolation, to take a destructive turn.

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The Kennedy Twins

Another well-documented case is that of Grace and Virginia Kennedy, American identical twins from the 1970s known by the names they called each other, "Poto" and "Cabengo". Their private language was characterised by its extremely fast tempo and staccato rhythm. The girls grew up with limited external contact and interaction, even from their caregivers. A linguistic analysis later revealed their language was a blend of the English their father spoke and the German used by their mother and grandmother, combined with neologisms and unique grammatical features.

After their situation gained public attention, the twins were enrolled in school and reportedly forbidden from speaking their personal language. They eventually learned to speak English, though they retained the rapid, staccato speech pattern from their childhood tongue. Like the Gibbons sisters, the Kennedy twins' story highlights how extreme social isolation can foster an unusually deep reliance on a personal tongue, delaying the acquisition of conventional speech and complicating social integration. These cases stand in stark contrast to the Youldens' experience of nurturing their language within a supportive environment.

The Risk of Language Delay

Scientific studies have consistently shown that twins, as a group, are at a slightly higher probability for mild language delay compared to single-born children. Researchers suggest this is not caused by the existence of a personal language but is more likely linked to environmental factors. For instance, twins naturally receive less individual, one-on-one attention from caregivers than single children do. Parents and other adults often have to divide their time and linguistic input between two children simultaneously.

Professor Thorpe’s research corroborates this, indicating that a "poorer quality of language environment" is the probable cause for this mild delay. The research suggests that factors like prematurity and complications during birth, which are more common in twin deliveries, can also be a factor. Dr Segal advises parents of twins to make a conscious effort to speak to each child individually to provide them with clear examples of mature speech. The tendency for twins to provide mutual amusement can sometimes lead to parents leaving them alone more often, reducing their exposure to mature speech patterns.

Supporting Language Development

To mitigate the chance of linguistic delay, experts recommend several strategies for parents of twins. Creating opportunities for one-on-one time with each child is crucial. This allows for direct, individualised conversation and interaction. Narrating daily activities using simple language helps build vocabulary and contextual understanding. Reading books together, pointing to and naming pictures, is another highly effective tool for fostering language skills. It is important to respond to each twin’s communication attempts individually, reinforcing their efforts and encouraging turn-taking in conversation.

Encouraging interaction with other children outside the twin pair is also beneficial for their social and linguistic development. If parents notice significant delays, such as a child not combining two words by two years of age, seeking advice from a speech and language therapist is recommended. Early intervention can help ensure that twins stay on track with their developmental milestones. The focus should always be on creating a rich, stimulating language environment both inside and outside the home.

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An Evolving Linguistic Bond

The Youlden brothers' experience with Umeri has been entirely positive and enriching. The language is not a static relic of their childhood but a living, evolving system. They constantly create new terminology to keep pace with contemporary life, adapting Umeri to encompass concepts that did not exist a few decades ago. Matthew explains that terms like 'iPad' or 'lightning cable' are all words that were nonexistent previously. This continuous development underscores their ongoing commitment to their unique creation.

Their shared passion for languages has also shaped their professional lives. The brothers currently operate their own successful business providing language coaching to individuals and organisations. Though their lives have taken them to different countries—Michael resides in Gran Canaria while Matthew is in the Basque Country—they continue to communicate together in Umeri. Their private language remains a vital and active part of their bond, a testament to their shared history and intellectual partnership.

A Language with a Finite Lifespan

Despite their lifelong dedication to Umeri, the Youlden brothers do not intend to teach it to anyone else, not even to any future children they may have. They express that imparting the language to another individual would feel strange, altering the exclusive nature that defines it. Umeri was born from their unique, shared experience, and its power lies in that exclusivity. It is a language woven into the fabric of their twinship, a private world built for two.

Michael reflects on the ultimate fate of their creation with a sense of poignant acceptance. He states it is a unique language spoken by just two individuals and acknowledges that it regrettably has an expiry date. When they are gone, Umeri will disappear with them. Yet, for as long as they live, it remains a powerful symbol of their inseparable bond, a living monument to the profound and mysterious connection that can exist between two people.